Anyone who uses Facebook has seen some of the dumbest things on the planet, that's for damn sure. One of them being those groups that list "45678 Things Guys should do for Girls" or vice versa... granted, some of the things on the lists are pretty good, but most of them never seem to apply to me without minor alterations...
So, I've decided to take the list of "Some things guys should always do for girls. Period." and add my own little... um... flair, to it. :)
1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time. (Alllright... I agree with this one. ^^)
2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?) (Hmkay, I don't go to church, so whatever.)
3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.) (And a girl should tolerate a good John Wayne or Lethal Weapon movie every once in a while... however, asking her to a WWE match MIIIGHT be a bit much... depending on the girl...)
4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)
(Mmmkay... there's ONE song on this list that would apply to me, the rest are good, but certainly not THAT romantic... however, if by 'playing' you mean ACTUALLY getting out a guitar/piano/xylophone/instrument of your choice... then, well... *melts* [but there are still BETTER songs. *wink*])
5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast. (Well, duh... but don't talk TOO much, and don't get mad if she's quiet, too... sometimes silence speaks volumes.)
6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.) (Roses say nothing to me but "Hey, I'm expensive and will look crappy and dead soon..." and NO part of me will be bought with gifts... I'm also not mentioning what my favourite flower is (but it's obviously not a rose)...)
7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again. (EVEN YOUR FRIENDS... sheesh. Just because you're dating her doesn't mean you can't miss her... 'love' might be a little weird... but whatev.)
8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory). (Nope. Never ever re-enact Zales commericals... that's cheesy and lame.)
9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost. (I most definitely agree with this one... I think I'd probably get angry if a guy spent a lot of money on me... and I don't mean on something like an engagement ring, either... (even though he had better not spend too much on THAT either...))
10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi". (Hm... okay. ^^)
11. Ask her questions about herself. (But don't get crabby if she doesn't want to answer for some reason... and let her ask questions about you too!)
12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks. (*nods* UH HUH!!! Or a sportcoat/suit, or a sweater... with a collared shirt underneath... and sweater≠vest... no vests...)
13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.) (Oh Mr. Darcy, you've got me there...)
14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.) (Not ALL women like kids, you know [no, I'm not talking about me... :P] but being mean to kids isn't going to get you any brownie points... duuuh!)
15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade! (As far as the dancing goes, if you know how, don't get crabby if she doesn't, dance how she feels more comfortable. And if that's 'not at all' then it's 'not at all' ... and remember, dancing isn't JUST for weddings/public places... oh, and the singing, I'd love it even if you were downright terrible... as long as you were doing it for me... and not karaoke)
16. Kiss her on the forehead. (Mmmmkay... this one works too. ><)
17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you. (But if she tells you to leave because she doesn't want you getting sick, please don't argue too much. And if you end up sick too, let her nurse you back to health, and don't whine...)
18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it! (Mmmkay, definitely make sure you know where she stands on the 'being drenched' thing (perhaps make sure she knows how to swim, first)... and if she's like me, even if you COULD throw/push her into a body of water... please don't... *cough* standing at the edge of the ocean *together* while getting soaked by a wave might be sweet, however... ^^)
19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points). (Ooookayyyy... yeah, sure... you're right, but be sure that you're still driving safely... :P)
20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!! (Thank-you Captain Obvious)
21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments. (And don't be mad at her if she doesn't get it... :S)
22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it. (But make sure you have permission to tickle her first... and if she can't take your teasing, there's a problem... also, if she teases you constantly, there's a problem.)
23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...) (Hint: 'adorable' works too... adorable is good... ;)
24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again). (Umm... no. But if you bought a cuddly blanket for your car, and one for your apartment/house/dorm/whatever, just for her and you, that'd be reaaaaalllly cuteeeeee!!!!!)
25. Don't be too proud to apologize. (But don't apologize for EVERYTHING, either... that's my job.)
26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles. (Mmmkay... I giggled at this one. I won't lie. And remember, she doesn't know what she looks like when she sleeps, and her actions aren't really under her control... so if she does silly things, love her for it.)
27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best. (Don't make jokes about a bad hair day, or messed up makeup (or none at all, for that matter), or... anything about her appearance, unless you're a concieted shallow bastard... then go ahead and do what you want; and let me know how it works out for yeh.)
28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her. (Yet another "Thank-you Captain Obvious" moment)
29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them. (Why do girls insist that the guy always calls? Last time I checked I could dial a phone number too... and good lord, I wouldn't freak out if he didn't call when he said he would... crap happens. However, if he doesn't call all week, and doesn't answer my phone calls, I'd probably get a little worried.)
30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some". (Well, checking out girls with your mom is just creepy... 0.o)
31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying] (However, if it's CONSTANTLY 'expensive' or she's not happy unless you take her out... um... that's not cool. And even if her form of 'repayment' isn't money (and no, I don't mean sex), appreciate it.. 'kay?)
32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.] (Mmmmkay, I agree with this one... except for the lack of capitalization... and remember this applies both ways, let her try to cheer you up if you're down... even if she sucks at it.)
33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.) (Frankly, I'd like to walk in the area with the fewest people to collide with... outside, inside, whatever... I don't like awkward shoulder bumps with sidewalk people.)
34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it! (I concur... however, the occasional 'oh shit' when you drop/forget something isn't bad or anything... when your vocabulary becomes a rap song, then there's a problem.)
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her. (Um... yeah, with *this* girl, you've got to have a loooooooot of intiative... some girls are just too shy/insecure/scared to do what they know they should... ><)
36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.** (Where is the 'walk her to her car' rule for leaving work/school/whatever late at night? And if she's just walking somewhere alone at night, and you're going in the same direction (and are NOT a creeper), maybe offer to walk with her in a non-sneaky/frightening way?? If you don't think that's possible, at least keep a non-stalkerish eye on the poor thing...)
37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do. ("If a woman says no, let that be her final answer" ... why would there need to be a confirmation question? If no was the FIRST answer, it should be the FINAL one... right??)
38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love. (Generally speaking, trust and honesty LEAD to love... thus... they're PARTS of love, not separate entities.)
39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems. (And have we taken into consideration here the women that... don't shut up, but never actually say anything?? I honestly can't blame men for not listening in those cases... which have to happen frequently; trust me, I know my own sex.)
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