There's never a shortage of people willing to solicit themselves, and god forbid if you shouldn't wish to participate in nude picture exchanges or awkward mutual masturbation via webcam... because then you end up blocking... 95% of Skype... 0.o
Oh, but then there's a special breed of SkypeCreepers. Like the guy I talked to last night; who we shall adeptly name "creeper."
You get asked a lot of awkward questions in conversations with people you don't know, "do you have a bf?" "omg u have cam?" "want to see my dick?"... but this one took the cake. He really took the cake; in fact, he took it and he RAN with it... The only way I can possibly explain is by including a record of the conversation, with commentary, for your amusement. (And yes, I LIED, dirty dirty internet lies, but this man NEEDED lying to... really.. he did.)
helloo
Hello^^
how pretty you are
Thank-you. ^^
How're you?
feel lonely (Oh boy... here we go...)
i like you, i think
I'm glad you like me... well.. as much as is possible to like someone in ... 6 minutes.
i have no luck with american girls
Well, where are you from?
i am here since 4 years and have never kissed american one (This is significant; you'll see why later...)
Hm... and how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
much older than you
12:19 AM
but handsome, sexy, rich doctor (Yes, because every American woman wants rich sexy doctor man. Excuse me while I rip my clothes off and throw myself at you... oh wait; this is the internet. Damnit.)
... 0.o
12:21 AM
Then perhaps you shouldn't be trying to kiss American [girls] but rather American [women]...
whatever, i like you
Well.. that's good, I guess.
i think you are smart (I think you're stupid.)
12:22 AM
still student ?
Yes, I'm still a student.
still virgin ? (Stop. Pause. Rewind. Re-read. WHAT?! Sounds like a normal conversational progression... Are you in school? Is your hymen still intact? .. 0.0)
May I ask why on earth that'd matter?
the point that matter me is how you handle unrelated surprising questions (Not only was that unrelated and surprising, but fucking nasty...)
Well, admittedly I ... was taken aback; that's not exctly a 'first conversation' question.
have bf ? (And you want me to believe that you're a rich sexy doctor?? Amazing netspeak there, Dr. Dipshit.)
Yes, actually, I do.
In fact, you should find this quite surprising, I have a fiancé. (Yes; let the lying begin...)
kisses only ?1!!
Is there a problem with that?
yes, there is (Oh no there's not... but I can see where there MIGHT be a problem.. *cough*you*cough*)
I mean, he wouldn't be my fiancé if he wasn't okay with that...
12:30 AM
What exactly would the problem be?
you imply in the begining that you are still virgin (And that's just a horrible implication; sorry.)
I ... AM.
When I asked if there was a problem, I was referring to the "Kisses only" thing... yes.. kisses only.
why
12:32 AM
why no sex (Because sex is icky and causes babies... 0.o)
12:32 AM
you are 20, right (I forgot that doctors can't do math... or read... birthdate... profile... DUH!)
12:34 AM
you take very long time in writing sentence, are you american and native english speaker (No. I from Russia. Siberia very colt.)
Because I'm Catholic and believe in saving myself for marriage; and as a matter of fact, I'm 19.
I give myself and my fiancé, who happens to be the love of my life, better odds than any idiot couple who slept together on the first date, because our relationship is based on true and unadulterated love, and I know that we will have the Lord's blessing whereas any couple who sleeps together on the first date will most certainly not. (Oh God; the lies. sinful lies... well, not ALL of it was lies...)
ok
12:36 AM
convencing (Yes, I'm sure... and I TOTALLY think you're a rich sexy doctor... thing.)
12:36 AM
god bless you
12:36 AM
i am also christian
Well, there you go; now you see my reasoning; thank-you very much.
can you help me (Absolutely not... I decided that a long time ago...)
In what way, may I ask?
i am looking for a nice pretty american women for fun and friendship. i need her to teach me the language and culture. I have every godd position here but need to master the english more. although i have a wife that i like but i need lovely friend, can you help (This is where the "I've never kissed american girl" thing comes in... WIFE?!
And... NO. Do I LOOK like I'll be your American Mail Order (or Skype Order) Bride?? Good God, I hope not.)
I suggest taking classes in English and being faithful to your wife. Do not compromise what God has graced you with. Blessings to you, and your family.
Good Night! (In other words, fuck off ass-hat.)
1 comment:
[creeper]12:22 AM
i think you are smart (I think you're stupid.)
This is fucking hilarious and I crack up every time I read it.
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