PMS= A powerful spell that women are put under about once every month, which gives them the strength of an ox, the stability of a Window's OS, and the scream of a banshee. Basically, man's worst nightmare.
Monthiversary= Similar to anniversary, but occuring every month. For people who are overzealous about a new relationship.
Mall Hangover= The headache, tiredness and sometimes nausea one gets after going to the mall.
Fourth of July=The day people light things on fire, and blame it on loving their country.
Askhole= Someone who asks many stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions.
I olo'd=Means "I only laughed once." Usually said when something isn't really that funny.
Man Flu= The condition shared by all males wherein a common illness (usually a mild cold) is presented by the patient as life-threatening.
This is also known as 'Fishing for Sympathy' or 'Chronic Exaggeration'.
When the patient is your boyfriend, he will exhibit the standard symptoms (such as an overwhelming desire for compassion) while simultaneously rejecting any and all efforts you make to placate him.
Q.E.D, How a Mathematician says "I win."
Highway Salute= An extended middle finger from a fist thrust forth whilst driving, as a gesture of anger toward the person who it is aimed at.
Self Helpless=The condition of somebody that is unable to deal with life, usually found sitting around a neglected apartment with bad hair and bad outfit.
Infoporn= Information that serves no purpose and consumes valuable space in your head.
Awkward Arm=That arm that has nowhere to go when cuddling, spooning or sleeping next to someone else. It usually leads to wishing arms could be pulled off and then put back on afterwards. (The second sentence made me giggle, otherwise it doesn't merit being on the list...)
Fauxbia=A faux (false) phobia.
Shuffle Shame="Shuffle shame" is when your mp3 music player is playing on speakers in shuffle mode, and somebody enters the room at the exact moment the worst song of your collection is being played.
OMGWTFBBQ= "Oh my God, What the frick, Barbeque." A parody of internet acronyms, used sarcastically. It can be used at the same times one would use "omgwtf". (I laughed so hard I cried.)
Errorist= Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes. Says stuff he believes is true, but anyone with common sense can see he's wrong.
Ignoranus= A person who is not only ignorant, but is also an asshole.
Mental Intercourse= the act of engaging in intelligent and interesting conversation. Topics range from sex to nerdy subjects.
Quirkyalone= n. a person who enjoys being single (or spending time alone) and so prefers to wait for the right person to come along rather than dating indiscriminately; relishing equal doses of solitude and friendship; attracted to freedom and possibility. Also adj.: The condition of being equally at home with singledom and being in a healthy relationship, undivided, whole. Of, relating to, or embodying quirkyalones.
Earth= God's reality TV show.
Sad Trombone= 1. Describes the sound made by a trombone to illustrate a depressing statement, action, or moment. "Wah waah". Pioneered on the SNL skit Debbie Downer.
Sapiosexual=One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature. (i.e. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go ouch due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with.
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